i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
