Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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