So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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