Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
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You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
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In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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