im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
