Porn is love you can see.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
