I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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