i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just invented taco cereal.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize