i need an iv and a liver transplant
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
