it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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