fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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