I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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