I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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