What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
