I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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