and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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