i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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