if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize