these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
