U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
