So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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