I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
