i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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