I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
