dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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