i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
