her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
worst night to have a conscience
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
