I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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