I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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