belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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