I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Randomize
