dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
