Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
