I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
