You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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