Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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