ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
