We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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