we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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