I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
