Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I AM VODKA MAN
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
