so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
