She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
