accomplished twins. life is a go
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize