that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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