Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
