areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
