Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
