Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
