he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
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Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
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My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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