Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
