I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am available for nakedness
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
