haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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