im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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