I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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