I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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