I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
