Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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