We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
