Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
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I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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