Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
