i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
