You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
