You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
