i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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