one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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