I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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